Where there is a will there is a jay



so is it a thing in (american) english to use “texas” as a word for like, something that’s out of control or chaotic, or as like, “crazy”? like “that party last weekend was totally texas!” 

because that is a thing people say in norwegian and i just think it’s important for americans to know that? 

this is the best thing I’ve ever heard


I got an ask about this yesterday

Do you believe in angels, Mr. Lipwig?


I got an ask about this yesterday

Do you believe in angels, Mr. Lipwig?

I see evil when I look in my shaving mirror. It is, philosophically, present everywhere in the universe in order, apparently, to highlight the existence of good. I think there is more to this theory, but I tend to burst out laughing at this point.
God, I love Vetinari (Unseen Academicals, by Terry Pratchett)

People on the side of The People always ended up disappointed, in any case. They found that The People tended not to be grateful or appreciative or forward-thinking or obedient. The People tended to be small-minded and conservative and not very clever and were even distrustful of cleverness. And so, the children of the revolution were faced with the age-old problem: it wasn’t that you had the wrong kind of government, which was obvious, but that you had the wrong kind of people.

And soon as you saw people as things to be measured, they didn’t measure up.

What would run through the streets soon enough wouldn’t be a revolution or a riot. It’s be people who were frightened and panicking. It was what happened when all the machinery of a city faltered, the wheels stopped turning, and all the little rules broke down. And when that happened, humans were worse than sheep. Sheep just ran; they didn’t try to bite the sheep next to them.

Terry Pratchett, Night Watch
Oh, yes. We’re the only ones who know how to make things work. You see, the only thing the good people are good at is overthrowing the bad people. And you’re good at that, I’ll grant you. But the trouble is it’s the only thing you’re good at. One day it’s the ringing of the bells and the casting down of the evil tyrant, and the next it’s everyone sitting around complaining that ever since the tyrant was overthrown no one’s been taking out the trash. Because the bad people know how to plan. It’s part of the specification, you might say. Every evil tyrant has a plan to rule the world. The good people don’t seem to have the knack.
Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
People think that stories are shaped by people. In fact, it’s the other way around.
Stories exist independently of their players. If you know that, the knowledge is power.
Stories, great flapping ribbons of shaped spacetime, have been blowing and uncoiling around the universe since the beginning of time. And they have evolved. The weakest have died and the strongest have survived and they have grown fat on the retelling…stories, twisting and blowing through the darkness.
And their very existence overlays a faint but insistent pattern on the chaos that is history. Stories etch grooves deep enough for people to follow in the same way that water follows certain paths down a mountainside, And every time fresh actors tread the path of the story, the groove runs deeper.
This is called the law of narrative causality and it means that a story, once started, takes takes a shape. It picks up all of the vibrations of all of the other workings of that story that have ever been.
This is why history keeps on repeating all of the time.
So a thousand heroes have stolen fire from the Gods. A thousand wolves have eaten grandmother, a thousand princesses have been kissed. A million unknowing actors have moved, unknowingly, through the pathways of story.
It is now impossible for the third and youngest son of any king, if he should embark on a quest which has so far claimed his older brothers, not to succeed.
Stories don’t care who takes part in them. All that matters is that the story gets told, that the story repeats. Or, if you prefer to think of it like this: stories are a parasitical lifeform, warping lives only in the service of the story itself.
It takes a special kind of person to fight back, and become the bicarbonate of history.
Once upon a time…
Sir Terry Pratchett, Witches Abroad
Discworld Reading Order
New person: Oooh that sounds interesting... What do I start with?
Me: *dump 40 books in lap* wherever you like really... JUST READ IT *skips off*
His movements could be called cat-like, except that he did not stop to spray urine up against things.

Terry Pratchett

"Night Watch"

'That was a long time ago. And, my lady, old I may be, and hag I may be, but stupid I ain't. You're no kind of goddess. I ain't against gods and goddesses, in their place. But they've got to be the ones we make ourselves. Then we can take 'em to bits for parts when we don't need 'em anymore, see? And elves far away in fairyland, well, maybe that's something people need to get 'emselves through the iron times. But I ain't having elves here. You make us want what we can't have and what you give us is worth nothing and what you take is everything and all there is left for us is the cold hillside, and emptiness, and the laughter of the elves.'
She took a deep breath. ‘So bugger off.’
Lords and Ladies, Terry Pratchett
'The female mind is certainly a devious one, my lord.'
Vetinari looked at his secretary in surprise. ‘Well, of course it is. It has to deal with the male one.’
Terry Pratchett.
I believe you find life such a problem because you think there are the good people and the bad people. You’re wrong, of course. There are, always and only, the bad people, but some of them are on opposite sides.
Terry Pratchett; Guards! Guards!
We’ve got a truth to die for!"
“No. Men should die for lies. The truth is too precious to die for.
Small Gods, by Terry Pratchett
You know what I fucking love about Discworld?


The fact that Terry Pratchett doesn’t stop at metaphors for representation. A lot of fantasy writers or series think they can pull that shit, like, ‘oh, the discrimination against (fantasy race) is an important social allegory, but let’s not have any actual POC in the books.’


Terry Pratchett writes about ethnic tensions between dwarves and trolls, yeah, but he doesn’t stop there, because hey, let’s talk about real racism. He writes about dwarves discovering themselves outside of a monogender world, but he doesn’t stop there, because hey, let’s have some real queers! He writes about vampires giving up blood and living by the pledge of temperance, but he doesn’t stop there, because hey, let’s have an actual alcoholic who manages to overcome his addiction and then kick a- prod buttock in every direction known to mankind and then some. 


According to the philosopher Ly Tin Wheedle, chaos is found in greatest abundance wherever order is being sought. It always defeats order, because it is better organised.
Interesing Times, Terry Pratchett


Thinking about how we tend to write the hero/villain dynamic and how the villain is usually disillusioned and the hero at least somewhat naive and if the hero isn’t naive they’re usually some kind of antihero, and there’s this ongoing implication that you can’t be a truly good person and do what’s right if you see the world as it really is.

And then along comes Sam Vimes, the most cynical person to ever walk the Disc, and he is the most Lawful Good son of a bitch you could ever find. Because he can.