Reminds me of Okami (which makes sense), and made for Louis Vuitton (which I could take it or leave it tbh), anyway…Happy Lunar New Year!
modern witches though
- witch code monkeys who lace their coding with an enchantment here and there to streamline what the computer can’t do on its own
- sorcerers boosting their network speed by muttering a few words at the router, making the thing glow blue and start whirring alarmingly
- summoners using art programs to lay out their summoning arrays so they never have to worry about drawing a perfect circle freehand ever again
- mages giving their laptop computers emergency power by holding the computer plug in one hand and chanting an energy spell at the metal
- groups of long-distance practicing magic users on skype trying to get their ominous incantations timed JUST perfectly so (and getting pissy at the lag when their bandwidth starts to get filled up)
MODERN WITCHES THOUGH
E-reader grimoires. Illusionists using Photoshop to design their glamers. Powerful casters commanding high prices and respect for their prowess, but giving tea, understanding, and inexpensive alteration spells to people who come to them with body dysphoria. A network of young casters across the globe working to create spells and supply each other with needed ingredients that the elder casters have to search for, because the young are much more comfortable with email.
I think about these things a lot.
I call this one “Hermann Gottlieb is done with your bullshit”
last year wasn’t so good, so hopefully this one will be super great.
this was originally going to be super elegant, but then i saw this dummy and i fell in love
I’m so glad I grabbed a few pictures of these two sweethearts on Friday because otherwise, I wouldn’t have ended up shooting them again in the snow on Sunday! I’m so excited to get to posting those photos in a few days, but for now, here’s some indoor ones~
It’s funny how science fiction universes so often treat humans as a boring, default everyman species or even the weakest and dumbest.
I want to see a sci fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.
How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?
Like that old story “they’re made of meat,” only we’re scarier.
HOLY SHIT THEY EAT CAPSAICIN FOR FUN
YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE.
A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT
humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.
REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD.
WARNING: HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE
WARNING: HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY
THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES.
HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS
WARNING: HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN.
HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE
OH GOD THE HUMANS FIGURED OUT DOOR HANDLES OH GOD OH GOD
More seriously, humans do have a number of advantages even among Terrestrial life. Our endurance, shock resistance, and ability to recover from injury is absurdly high compared to almost any other animal. We often use the phrase “healthy as a horse” to connote heartiness - but compared to a human, a horse is as fragile as spun glass. There’s mounting evidence that our primitive ancestors would hunt large prey simply by following it at a walking pace, without sleep or rest, until it died of exhaustion; it’s called pursuit predation. Basically, we’re the Terminator.
(The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs. That’s why we use them for hunting. And even then, it’s only “sort of”.)
Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient life did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursuit predators:
- Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we don’t need to overpower or outrun you. We just need to outlast you - and by any other species’ standards, we just plain don’t get tired.
- Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that’s not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn’t necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.
- We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity, recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren’t pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue, among our other survival-oriented traits - but they’re highly functional.
- Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science. We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves - and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder. We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic reasons.
In essence, we’d be Space Orcs.
I do hope you realize I’m going to be picking up this stuff and running with it right?
Our jaws have too many TEETH in them, so we developed a way to WELD METAL TO OUR TEETH and FORCE THE BONES IN OUR JAW to restructure over the course of years to fit them back into shape, and then we continue to wear metal in out mouths to keep them in place.
We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, often using little analouge traps.
And by god, we will eat anything.
- We use borderline toxic peppers to season our food.
- We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the pursuit of darkening our skin.
- We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favorite musicians live.
- We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area and hit each other until time runs out/one of them pass out
- We willingly jump out of planes with only a flimsy piece of cloth to prevent us from splattering against the ground.
- Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings in the exact same places.
- We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging rights
- We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them.
- On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet.
Klingons and Krogan and Orcs ain’t got shit on us
We drink ethanol (in concentrations high enough to be used as an effective as microbicide or a solvent!) for the express purpose of achieving blood toxicity and disrupting normal brain function… AS A RECREATIONAL ACTIVITY!
On the same subject, we also deliberately incinerate assorted substances and then inhale the particulate-heavy smoke and vapor resulting for the same effect. EVEN IN THE FACE OF SAID SUBSTANCES BEING CARCINOGENIC, BECAUSE WE JUST DON’T GIVE A FUCK.
Humans do not have biological castes. Kill their commander and another will take its place. Soldiers left alone on a planet will start farming and manufacturing to survive. Farmers and manufacturers will take up arms and kill you if pressed. Just because two humans look different doesn’t mean they cannot do each other’s jobs.
Breeding does not kill them. A single human can mate dozens or hundreds of times in a lifetime. They often do so as recreation. Xenobiology team six believes they do not have a mating season but this is too strange to be true.
Their appendages are not designed for hitting, so they developed special training to make them very good at hitting anyhow.
The proteins making up their bodies are toxic and cause prion disease. Do not touch anything humans have touched. Do not consume earth foods. Fire does not adequately remove this contamination.
Humans perceive sixteen times the colors we do. Do not hide in bushes or vines from humans. They can distinguish your pelt from the foliage with ease.
We tried venting waste gas into the tunnels to kill the humans when they attacked. Turns out they breathe it.
Everything on their planet came from a single biological strain. They developed comprehensive genetics BEFORE they developed space travel.
They lack radio receptors and cannot be brought into compliance with right-thought simply by broadcasting to them. Even after we learned how to translate it into sound-waves one of their hatchlings drove the Great Authority mad by responding to every demand with a single question: “Why?”
That little asshole was me, age 4.
This is my favorite post on tumblr, and it got better!
Salem Witches’ Institute
The Salem Witches’ Institute was named after the Salem Witch Trials. It was founded by immigrant witches from Europe. The curriculum is standard to that taught at Hogwarts, and there is an active study-abroad program available to witches studying in Europe. It is the only female-only wizarding school in the nation.
Laveau akademi nan majik which in Creole means Laveau Academy of Magic
This school is located in the outskirts of New Orleans, for the city was founded by witches immigrating from Haiti. It has a rich history of ancient magic that pulses through the land. They offer specialized courses on voodoo magic and connecting with spirits.
F.L.A.M.E.L. (Flamel Learning Academy of Magical Education and Literacy)
On a holiday to the States, Nicholas Flamel observed an ever expanding wizarding population in the MidWest. He, as the good samaritan he is, thought for the well-being of the wizarding world to found a school in his name. Ever the narcissist, came the birth of the redundant name of this beautiful school. Although Nicholas Flamel died after he destroyed the Sorcerer’s Stone in 1992, he will forever live on through his school, nowadays everyone simply calls it Flamel Academy. Located right on the outskirts of Urban Chicago in plain sight of muggles, the student’s uniform is quite modern so to not attract any unwarranted attention. The school obviously specializes in creating stones with magical qualities such as healing, protection, and courage.
Tacoma School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
Located in an undisclosed location in the NorthWest corner of the United States, you will find this beautiful campus. The curriculum is based on Native American Shamanism, focusing on healing and connecting with spirits. There is a large werewolf population in the area, and the school works to help heal werewolves after the full moon. It is the only school in the States to allow werewolves to enroll. With the emphasis on healing, this school offers a specialized pre-healer program.
Tawa Institute for Wizards
This school is hidden in the desert of New Mexico, only the top of the school can be seen by muggles. It looks like an abandoned adobe settlement, however the actual school is located underground. The school is named after the ancient Sun God of the Hopi tribe, and the school offers specialized courses on elemental magic. These young men also are taught to deal with angry spirits who roam these lands.
*fashion credited to Amorentia Fashion*
also dont fucking steal my shit. xoxo
The 75th Hunger Games, also known as the third Quarter Quell, was the final Hunger Games ever held in Panem. Since this was a Quarter Quell, an extra twist was introduced.
#NO BUT#YOU DON’T REALIZE #IF I WERE HEAD GAMEMAKER I’D DO DINOSAURS EVERY YEAR #like everyone would be like ‘well they did dinosaurs last year so SURELY’ #and then BAM dinosaurs #and then the year after that i’d assure everyone in all my interviews that this year we wouldn’t do any dinosaurs #and then - right at the end - DINOSAURS #the next year i’d make all the tributes take care of baby dinosaurs while in the arena #like the baby had to live through the games with you or you’d lose #but then it would grow into an adult dinosaur all at once and they’d have to ride a raptor around for the rest of the games #very important very very important to me #everything is dinosaurs [x]
THE BOXTROLLS Teaser Trailer #3
"Hufflepuffs are known to have good friends in Slytherin. Hufflepuffs are some of the few who won’t judge based on negative rumours. This means they’re the most likely to approach Slytherins and help them when in need. This makes amazingly loyal friends between the houses. Mess with a Hufflepuff, and you’ll likely find a Slytherin getting revenge for the more forgiving house."
HELL YEAH FUCKING RIGHT
it’s true doe
Hellboy on vacation
Great shot at Amazing Arizona Comic Con 2014 by dtjaaaam. Gipsy Danger and Cherno Alpha cosplay.
accidentally picked the wrong seats in an airplane/theater au?
hugged the wrong person from behind au?
wrong person waved back au???
TOOK THE WRONG COFFEE ORDER AU
THE MAILMAN DELIVERED A WEIRD PACKAGE (sEX TOYSSS) TO THE WRON GHOUSE AU
WALKING INTO THE WRONG DORM ROOM AU
SAT DOWN IN THE WRONG CLASS AU
CALLED THE WRONG NUMBER AU
GOT INTO/WAVED AT THE WRONG CAR AU
TOOK THE WRONG LUGGAGE AU