lilylaughingalonewithdirkstrider:
Running along the tarmac, carrying a jeweled meat hammer, cometh Sare! And she gives an ominous bellow:
“This one’s for you, mom! You are made of meat and I am very hungry!!”
Hark! Who is that, prowling over the cliffs! It is Rin, hands clutching a meaty axe! And with a gutteral bellow, her voice cometh:
“I’m seriously going to punch you until you scream like a banshee!!!”
Zang! Who is that, rampaging amidst the tundra! It is Rashmi, hands clutching a reflective halberd! And with a spectacular cry, her voice cometh:
“I’m going to brutalize you until you deflate!!!”
Skulking over the mountains, swinging a piece of chainlink fence, cometh Fannishminded! And she gives a spectacular bellow:
“For the love of beatings, I carve into flesh until Satan himself emerges from the pit to thank me!!”
Yea, verily: Who is that, rampaging through the desert! It is Cubone, hands clutching a piece of chainlink fence! And with a cruel bellow, his voice cometh:
“You in some shit now, muhfuh! I carve into flesh with reckless abandon!!”
Zang! Who is that, prowling along the tarmac! It is Tabbykatification, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! She roars mightily:
“I’m going to pummel you until your rump glows!!”
Stalking amidst the desert, wielding a studded crowbar, cometh Hland7! And she gives a vengeful howl:
“I’m going to smack you past the point of no return!!”
Striding out of the tundra, brandishing an oversized scalpel, cometh Sherlock-holmes-snazzy-scarf! And she gives a gutteral howl:
“By Odin’s mighty spear, I sow darkness and discord like a river of pure piranha!!”
Who is that, skulking over the tarmac! It is Dave, hands clutching buzzsaw hand extensions! And with a cruel scream, his voice cometh:
“I’m going to pummel you into a fine spicy powder!!!”
i am disappoint
Zang! Who is that, prowling across the plains! It is Reilly, hands clutching gilded boxing gloves! And with an ominous roar, her voice cometh:
“I’m going to fuck you until your anus and mouth reverse their functions!”
Stalking amidst the terrain, wielding a studded crowbar, cometh Lily! And she gives a gutteral grunt:
“I’m going to fuck you until you acquire caulrophobia, and trade you for a candy bar!”
Prowling across the fields, carrying a bladed baseball bat, cometh Mirkwood! And she gives an ominous grunt:
“Hail the blood-letting! I look forward to hearing the lamentations of thy women!!!”
Yea, verily: Who is that, running on the hotel lobby! It is Sky, hands clutching a sharpened screwdriver! And with a mighty grunt, her voice cometh:
“For the love of carnage and discord, I destroy all in my path until there is no more hope!!”
(I tried two other names I go by and got: “I’m going to bludgeon you so hard, the Earth will spin twice as fast!” and “I’m going to punch you harder than God thought possible, and throw you out the airplane door!!!” They are all so good. I couldn’t stick with just one.)
Prowling out of the cliffs, brandishing a vorpal blade, cometh Kit! And she gives a spectacular grunt: “Blood and souls for my dark lord! I feel like chicken tonight!!!”
